Collaborative Practice
Divorce
can be difficult and some might even say it’s the worst time in a person’s
life. The reconfiguring of a family can
be tragic enough and the legal battle only adds more pain into the
process. The court system at times
becomes a battleground and the process only adds confusion, anger, feelings of
loss and heightened conflict. Sometimes
the battle goes on and on and seems virtually endless.
But
it doesn’t have to be this way. A
relatively new concept has emerged from the ashes where couples work with a
team of professionals. The team can
consist of lawyers, mental health professionals and financial experts who are
trained to design a constructive solution to issues related to a parting
couple. This is called the Collaborative
Practice model.
Collaborative
Practice is a rational and reasonable problem solving process based on several
principles:
¨
Avoid court
¨
Honest
exchanges between the parties
¨
Solutions to
issues focus on the highest priorities of the couples and the best interests of
the children
Just
because the couples have decided to stop being husband and wife is no reason to
treat each other as less than human.
When people respect each other and work together to resolve differences,
their interactions are more likely to be more productive with agreements met
not only more quickly but longer lasting as well.
Key
Difference
The
key difference between the Collaborative model and the adversarial approach
commonly encountered today is that each person in the process pledges to reach
an agreement before going to court. In
this way, the couples maintain control of the decisions that effect
them and their children. The alternative
is to turn over the couples’ lives to a total stranger who will make decisions
based on the law and not on people’s desires and wishes. The Collaborative process requires
face-to-face meetings between the couples, the lawyers and the rest of the team
as needed. There is an honest exchange
of information, stated needs, wants and desires. When the issues are openly and honestly
discussed the resolutions of problems is more likely. The focus is on resolving problems not
proving who is right or wrong and the produce is an agreement everyone can live
with.
A
Team Approach
The
team is there to provide the support when the couple needs it the most. The mental health professional is there to
support each person through this difficult time. Individual sessions or even couple session
may be needed. There may be time when
the children need to talk to someone who can help them through their confusion
and stress. Parents may need suggestions
to help them with their parenting through this period. The financial expect is there to help sort
out the sometimes confusing financial situation of the family. They are there to help divide retirement
resources and other assets that have been comingled over the years.
Family
Ties
Divorce
may end a legal relationship, but the family relationships are there
forever. The Collaborative model of
divorce is designed to help preserve the family relationships while easing
people through the legal process.
Recently
a group has formed in the